$945 – net-a-porter.com
$26 – yoins.com
Today I was doing a bit of keyword research when I came across the Fabulously Awkward Girl daily stats….what, might you ask, is the most frequently search engine term that lead people to this site? Why, “BIG BLACK MONSTER BOOTY,” of course!
Mind you, only 3 total search terms have been used today, but STILL!
Of course, further research was then required, in the name of writing & below are the top search term used since the beginning of time (for this site):
Summary- Don’t know how you found this blog, but it makes me happy that so many weird Google searches have resulted in a chunk of my audience
A little background- my new cat not only lost an eye sometime between April-ish and when I found him, but was also saved within seconds of being compacted in a garbage truck. He had a proper surgery to remove the missing eye so, lucky for anyone looking at him, his fur grew over the eye socket scar and it appears he is continuously winking.
Edgar Degas was a French impressionist who, over time, went blind in one eye. Late in his career he became fascinated with long exposure photography, so when he wasn’t creeping on ballerinas he would spend hours in the dark slowly taking pictures.
Sauron was the Dark Lord over Middle Earth who forged the ONE RING of power. He/She/It was known for some time in the form of an all seeing eye stationed in Mordor.
I could go on and on about this creature and Schubert. But, in a nutshell, they are bros and spend most of their days running, playing, and cuddling together. I could start a series of chain emails that get sent around with bible verses attached and people would LOVE IT. However, I’m not focused enough to start such a trend so don’t get your hopes up.
Summary- my friend Mike said, “Liz, Schubert really needs a man in his life,” so I got him a cyclops kitty.
Yoga is a practice that demands all of your grace, balance, and coordination work together as one glorious machine. HA!
I’m not trying to be cute. Sure, Jennifer Lawrence can get away with falling at the Oscars while still being adorable- duh! I cannot. Anyone who has spent more than an hour with me can tell you that I rarely walk without ending up with a bruise somewhere.
Anyways, today, after spending some time getting back in “Namaste shape,” I had the courage to rejoin a class that had defeated me back in May…. It was hot, but I was hydrated. The class was long, but I had stretched. Every other person in the class was 40+, and I STILL got my ass, breath, and brain handed to me (see below).
So, if you’re feeling down on yourself today, Bookmark this post and refer back as needed.
Summary- Breathing, stretching, and balancing at the same time can be tricky.
It’s Monday, I’m feeling lazy, and you’re probably bored at work. So, I want to keep it simple and just show you an image… The picture below compares Josh Hartnett‘s character, Ethan Chandler, from Penny Dreadful with a recent photograph of my younger brother.
Anyone else out there a Doppelganger? Let me know!
Summary- Now that Josh Hartnett is sporting questionable facial hair, he could pass as my relative.
I have no doubt that you all have heard of the great Mr. Leslie Jordan…YOU KNOW, that tiny, fabulous old queen that has made his way into our hearts and homes through shows like Will & Grace, Boston Legal, American Horror Story, Raising Hope, etc……
Still having trouble recalling his adorable face?
This should help.
Yes, this fabulous has a personality that makes you think he adorns all of his fingers with colorful rubies for people to kiss when greeting him at home. He’s also the man who has starred in such classic films as The Help, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, Eating Out: all you can eat, and Weird Science.
And on top of ALL THIS, he had the honor of meeting my dear Uncle, while running errands in Los Angeles last week…
My mom’s brother has been living amongst the West Hollywood elite for over 30 years now, and usually leaves them be, but he knew that getting a note from one of my all-time favorite old queens would make my day. So, he bothered the actor for a signature.
Yep, Leslie Jordan personally wished ME “happy birthday” on the back of a Santa Palm Car Wash receipt. This (obviously) means that I’m better than most of humanity and can count on my 27th year to be EXTRA fabulous…that or extra short and overly pretentious….we’ll see!
Summary- I just got starstruck from a signature & have to take a 2 week vacation from judging people for regularly reading tabloids.