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Tag Archives: Weird

#tBt- Awkward Warning Signs of the 90’s

Nature? Nurture? Gluten? Video Games? Breastfeed? Vaccines? My current Facebook Newsfeed is full of young mothers telling their online world which is right, asking others what is wrong, then outlets, like Huffington Post fill any gaps via Blogs, disguised as news….

mommy blogger, newsfeed, blowing up, experts, overprotective, children, babiesApparently, I’m now at an age where peers find it offensive to imply there is comparable cuteness between Winston Churchill-looking white babies & my little dog/one-eyed cat.

Note- weekly preggers updates are NOT cute. My age aside, it’s become obvious that technology has given the common parent too much information on how to raise offspring.

Luckily, going through old home videos lead me to one fact- Kids are weirdnap, little girl, children, go home, wasted

That being said, I’ve decided to write the rest of this article in the style of a Mommy-Blog….

Allow me to show you a few images & videos that will highlight awkward character warning signs. If only my parents had caught these in time, could possibly be a slightly different woman today.

Exhibit A- Super 90’s Troll Girl & her Super Southern Star Wars Nerd Brother

Red Flags:

* STFU about the Troll! And those “horse” noises were creepy- split personalities? nonhuman values?

* Older sibling’s pronunciation of “The EMM-PAR’ Straks BACK should not be how YOUR child pronounce ANY title EVER- speech therapy?

* Babs & Buster Bunny + Troll + Cabbage Patch Horse + Consistent, Individual Sound Effects for Each = Arrested Development circa 1992?

*** WHY IS EVERYONE NOT FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE TINY KITTY!?

Exhibit B- Bubble Girl

Red Flags:

* Bubble Girl finds blowing bubbles with English Bulldog more appealing than with human sibling Obvious precursor to Disliking most People!

* Little Brother seems sweet & wants to learn about bubbles; however the dog partakes in strange tribalesque Bubble Dance the girl has made up- Possible Space Cadet Personality Traits? Borderline demonic possession?

Exhibit C- Goat Girl

Red Flags: 

* Seriously, why does little Liz want to hug those goats so badly!? This could be any number of issues…

* Family friend talks about Goat Girl as she continues trying to seduce friendship from livestock with zero reaction from parents and/or nearby children- reasoning tells us this has happened before (no bueno)….

Exhibit D- Lone Tricycle Ranger

Red Flags:

* It’s Xmas and little Liz attempts off-roading, on her new tricycle, in the snow- Basic Physics? Holiday Joy?

* Younger sibling could give 2 f*cks about anyone/thing, except kitten- Animal abuser potential? Will this boy be a serial killer if nobody intervenes? 

* Post accident, Girl acts as if wiping out painfully is nbd, then appears to forget which part of her body was hurt- Missing nerve endings? Adrenaline junkie? Accident prone Insurance issues to come?

Exhibit E- Tiny Dancer (where’s your rhythm?) 

Red Flags:

* The young, Fabulously Awkward Girl, has no idea what she’s doing, even after months of practice-WARNING: This is most likely a 2-left-feet situation & requires IMMEDIATE attention from a professional. 

BELIEVERS THAT CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE: study these videos so you’ll know a few of the traits that could possibly result in adult abnormalities, such as Chronic-Bitch-Face, Sarcasm, “Most of the Population isn’t Bright” Attitude, Awkwardness, ETC.

598781_10151282299897890_1249341670_n

Goat Girl made Goat Friends after all…what a freak.

Summary- my childhood was the AMAZING, partly because of the 2 hilarious boy siblings featured, & am just a stereotypically over-imaginative middle child, who grew up to be a hilarious Blogger

ALSO- PEOPLE WITH CHILD[ren]: STOP POSTING SONOGRAMS, URINE SAMPLE PREGNANCY TESTS, & HOURLY UPDATES ON SOCIAL MEDIA. Thankssssss- xx

Say Hello to EDGAR “sauron” DEGAS

I rescued a one-eyed cat & took yet another big step toward becoming twenty-something spinster.

Pop Art, Cat, Dog, Funny, Weird, Rescue Animals

A little background- my new cat not only lost an eye sometime between April-ish and when I found him, but was also saved within seconds of being compacted in a garbage truck. He had a proper surgery to remove the missing eye so, lucky for anyone looking at him, his fur grew over the eye socket scar and it appears he is continuously winking.

Nerd, Cat Lady, Awkward, LOL

Edgar Degas was a French impressionist who, over time, went blind in one eye. Late in his career he became fascinated with long exposure photography, so when he wasn’t creeping on ballerinas he would spend hours in the dark slowly taking pictures.

Edgar Degas, Impressionist, Realist, Toilet Paper, Funny,

Sauron was the Dark Lord over Middle Earth who forged the ONE RING of power. He/She/It was known for some time in the form of an all seeing eye stationed in Mordor.

LOTR, Sauron, Dark Lord, Eye, Mordor, Cat, Humor

I could go on and on about this creature and Schubert. But, in a nutshell, they are bros and spend most of their days running, playing, and cuddling together. I could start a series of chain emails that get sent around with bible verses attached and people would LOVE IT. However, I’m not focused enough to start such a trend so don’t get your hopes up.

Pets, Cute, Kitten, Dog, Best Friends

Summary- my friend Mike said, “Liz, Schubert really needs a man in his life,” so I got him a cyclops kitty.

My Little Brother is a Doppelgänger

It’s Monday, I’m feeling lazy, and you’re probably bored at work. So, I want to keep it simple and just show you an image… The picture below compares Josh Hartnett‘s character, Ethan Chandler, from Penny Dreadful with a recent photograph of my younger brother.

doppelganger, penny dreadful, ethan chandler, family, doppelgänger, folklore, character, celebrity

Weird, right?

Anyone else out there a Doppelganger? Let me know!

Summary- Now that Josh Hartnett is sporting questionable facial hair, he could pass as my relative. 

WTF Wednesday- ELouise’s Little Studio in the Big Green House Pt. 2

Today was reserved for my ongoing design project. Did I hang pictures on the wall? Absolutely not. What did I do? I read 9 issues of The Etude music magazines published in 1941. W.T.F.

(Warning- Sh*ts about to get weird)

BEHOLD a handful of the countless highlights from these periodicals!

Music, Magazine, Vintage, Strange, Funny, Design, Shabby Chic, creepy, baby, instruments

Yes, that is a baby on top of what appears to be most of a brass section. What happened to the band that went with it? Only he knows. 

Vintage, Magazine, Music, Hitler, Beethoven, Weird, Funny

Short answer- No.

Music, Magazine, Vintage, Strange, Funny, Design, Shabby Chic

No worries, folks, summertime is Vacation Tempo time with The Etude.

pretentious, funny, Music, Magazine, Vintage, Strange, Humor, Design, Shabby Chic

Rich people love music.

Music, Magazine, Vintage, Strange, Funny, Design, Shabby Chic, piano, creepy, weird

This girl is every young piano student’s nightmare. I know, because I lived it.

And this leads me to the grand finale of today’s post…..a tale as old as time…..

Scary, Weird, Awkward, Music, Magazine, Vintage, Strange, Funny, Design, Shabby ChicI feel like the writer knows my soul. Give me music or give me electroshock therapy! 

I find my grandmother’s collection of her monthly music treat to be equal parts upsetting, relatable, and pretentious. The combined emotions make for the most awkward rush I’ve had in years.

Now, anyone have ideas on how these beauties should be displayed? I’ve got 9 covers and plan to have all showcased. 

Summary- Planning media in 1941 must have been weird.

WTF Wednesday!?

Subway guy wearing red, mesh top and nipple rings

Who knew that wearing a mesh top would bring out the silver in a person’s nipple rings so much!? I think 1993 did, but that’s beside the point. I had the great pleasure of sharing a subway car with this young man not too long ago and it made me wonder- who wakes up, looks in their closet, SEES a red, mesh top, and decides “YES. This is what I will wear today.” Having such a piece of clothing in your closet is impressive enough, but this guy took it to the next level. I think the backwards hat really brings it all together. If/when I ever decide such an outfit choice is the right one, please handcuff me to a convenience store front and never look back.

Post Summary: While being yourself is great, wearing a mesh shirt is not.

Warning: A Wizard has been seen roaming Central Park during daylight hours.

Yesterday afternoon I had an encounter that could only be described as “magical.”  For the 2ND time since living here,  I came across a wizard smack dab in the middle of New York City.

Over the last few months I’ve become quite the Central Park patron. My canine companion, Schubert, and I have our own spot in one of the dog-friendly areas. Our routine goes something like this- I lay out a blanket, detach the leash from Schubert’s collar, and let him around like the wild dog he was born to be. At this point I usually open a book and do some half-ass reading. Yesterday’s trip was no different until dusk came around and we made moves to exit our little nature-escape.While walking down a gravel path something purple caught my eye…there, in Sheep’s Meadow, was none other than the wizard I had seen strolling through that same area a few months before.

Here you can see the wizard walking through the populated meadow as if it were his natural environment.

Now, what got me about this wizard sighting was not his nonchalant attitude to practicing magic during the day. It was the other park-goers and their indifference to his presence that rubbed me the wrong way. Not a single person was taking a picture or looking at all confused. As you can see, I snapped a shot of this mystical moment during my first sighting (due to my little monster’s aggressive leash habits a decent photo was not captured yesterday).

Do New Yorkers really see so many different people, personalities, outfits, and oddities that not even a wizard walking around in front of them summons a reaction!? I felt like one of the tourists in Times Square, but instead of being amazed by giant LCD screens and advertisements, I was taken aback by a purple clad sorcerer. This difference between myself and the other park rats brought me to a solid conclusion- I will not live in NYC long enough that a wizard walking around Central Park doesn’t surprise me.

Post Summary: Seeing a wizard in public should always make you ask “what is going on?”

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